Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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