Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
