You're so nebulous sometimes
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
