Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
