We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
