Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
