He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
