nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
