dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
