the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize