and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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