I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
