I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
