he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
