I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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