I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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