Need sex. Gaining weight.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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