A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
