Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
