I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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