i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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