Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
