Me. At least after what I've been through.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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