I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
