i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
