I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
a search helicopter?!
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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