Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
