So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
