you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
