I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
where are you?
Hypothermia
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
