sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
