my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
