Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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