That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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