Define "chronic" masturbator.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
