let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
