hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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