just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
