i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
