You surviving the open bar?
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Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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