can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Porn is love you can see.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
