I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
