Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
