I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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