He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
