God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
