i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I booty called her while she was in labor.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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