I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
