i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
