Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
