I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Randomize
