So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize