plz talk dirty to me
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
