i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
