I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
