so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
