Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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