all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
