why didn't you poke me back
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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