David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
