Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Fuck appropriateness.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
