I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I CAN MOONWALK!
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
