My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize