Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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